my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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