plz talk dirty to me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
ok first of all what the fuck
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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