Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
