Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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