Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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