I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
