i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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