Christians are straight up FREAKS
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
where are my eyebrows?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
