Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
