I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
