if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
