so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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