And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
