quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My dick has a subreddit
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
