NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
My ass is underappreciated
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
