i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Be still, my beating vagina.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
