The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
