Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
