he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
