i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you inspire me to be a worse person
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
