So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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