You really coming over, don't trick.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
