i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
