If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
