i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
