the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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