You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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