nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
