so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
