last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
