Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It's never too late to be topless.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
