I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
