people are starting to question the shark bite story
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
