i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
