You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
