Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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