Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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