he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
