if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
