I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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