haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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