wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
she peed on how many people?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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