now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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