we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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