The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
