i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
