You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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