i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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