Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
