My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
